![]() Induct 'nunubididoo' into your vocabulary. Expect loss of speech, bowels and stomach lining. Nerves will devour every aspect of your being. Surround yourself with people to whom you are enamoured. See Rio Romeo - Dyltgir?.ġ2) Communication To Induce Emesis and Defecation Hook up with anyone of your choice - use that code word carefully. ![]() Throw away your old calendars, notes and diaries. Get to know your new partners over muesli and toast. Embrace the temporary amnesia brought on by an over indulgence in alcohol. See Wet Leg - Wet Dream.īreakfast is the most important meal of the day as other self-help manuals suggest. Inform your ex-lover about deeply private thoughts and feelings, such as nocturnal emissions and your penchant for a particular Christina Ricci 90s film. If your relationship has come to end, continue to engage in communication with your ex. Other inappropriate behaviour encouraged to increase awkwardness. Not a fan of the proffered meat at dinnertime? Pour it over your chest. See Panic! At The Disco - I Write Sins Not Tragedies. ![]() Leave doors open to allow sound to travel. Spread unsolicited rumours unashamedly at formal events such as weddings, funerals, bar mitzvahs etc. See The Shangri-Las - The Train From Kansas City.ħ) Make Defamatory Statements At Important Ceremonies Bring new boyfriend to meet old boyfriend. Don't reply to correspondence from previous beaus. Allow them to believe that meeting you at a train station is a grand idea. Don't break off ties from previous partners. Don't pay attention to the position of your feet and jab in the direction of friend's lower leg. See Tribe 8 - Wrong Bathroom.ĥ) Upstage Friends then Sweat and Kick Shinsĭoes your friend have something nice to say? Step in front of them, take what is theirs and make it a better version. Kindly direct them to the suitable 'male/female' area best suited to you. Interrogate other public bathroom dwellers on their gender, body parts and intentions. See The Ink Spots - Please Take A Letter, Miss Brown.Įxpect the expected. Claim to 'take their heart' once they have realised your motives. One proven example is to hire an employee who can write you their own love letter. See Kippington Lodge - Shy Boy.ģ) Find Cryptically Creepy Ways Of Showing Your Affections Purchase biscuits and jewellery for love interests without knowledge of their marital status. See Frank Zappa - Dancin' Fool.ĭo not use a comb or don well-fitted clothes. Continue to practise every night in the hope you get it right. Using your long awkward feet, dance like everyone's watching. The Song Bar Self-Help Guide - How To Be Awkwardįollow these 14 steps for a more uncomfortable and awkward life.
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